$11

Well, it's been awhile since I have posted. What could the reason for that be? Probably.....that I stopped trying. I was doing so well for awhile, training for my half marathon. 4 weeks into it, I got hurt. Enter doctor appointments, disappointing news, torturous MRI's, inconclusive and very unhelpful diagnosis's and probably a little bit of depression. Results, I have a bad knee, a bad hip, I need to lose weight to fix it, but in order to that I need to exercise, and my options for that are limited. So what better thing to do than get addicted to reading, watching Son's of Anarchy and wearing out the seat in my recliner. Slacking off at work, slacking off at home, slacking off at life in general. Makes sense right? Right. And now that I'm over that, I'm pissed off. This weekend I spent some time with a couple of my gorgeous friends and a whole slew of kids. Upon an exciting trip through a splash pad, fully clothed...I changed into a sun dress I had until yesterday, not been brave enough to wear into public. It looks okay, I suppose and I love RED! I feel empowered in that color, but anyway, I wore it. Home from the park and then out to dinner. Fully aware of how revealing it was. Not in the sensual or inappropriate way, but it the show all you've got....literally way. I have so many layers underneath that dress it is unnerving. And until recently, I wasn't aware of how I appeared to others. Some women complemented my dress, which sometimes I felt it was so that they could think in their heads what they really thought, most men looked away, and I felt completely discussed at my appearance. And how I feel, because you know, it's not all about looks. It is entirely possible the assumptions I made in my head about what the other were saying in their heads were false. They probably didn't even notice me. The issue at hand are the thoughts that are in my head. How in the hell did I let myself go this far? Really? Seriously? My motivation and enthusiasm motivates and gets other people excited. Aren't I the hypocrite. It's pathetic. But maybe this is exactly what I needed to get my shit together. I needed to get mad. Angry. Discussed. Annoyed. Pissed. All of the above. And I am. Laying it all out there.

Enter $11. At WalMart in Evans, Ga last night I found this adorable little dress. I've been longing for a dress like this for months. A dark blue, white polk a dot dress that would look fabulous with pearls and a pair of red or nude heels. Totally a date night or Sunday morning ensemble. Really. I, Lori Hays am contemplating something fashionable. Scary, I know. So I bought it.

Then I tried it on. Ouch. I'm pretty sure this is the biggest I have ever been.

Now my feelings about this are mixed between pissed off and motivated. They always say when trying to loose weight it's good to have a goal or a little incentive to work towards. Here we go! The dress. So, I've created myself a little home gym, with my bike, a ball, a mat, some elastic bands and hand weights. It's pretty much all I can do right now, since my doctor put the squash on everything else. And I know that this is going to be a long, tedious process. But, it has to happen. I am not going to work backwards anymore. My life depends on it. Physically, mentally, emotionally....you get it. Time to get back on the bandwagon. I have to improve my diet. I have to exercise. And unlike before, it's going to be harder than ever. Because my options are limited. All I have is my self motivation and my ego. God I hope it works this time.

Here is the plan. Set my IPhone alarm for 5:00 AM every morning. Get up, take my medicine, drink a glass of water, bike for 30 minutes and do a circuit of strength training. Then eat breakfast, get the kids ready to rock and roll deliver them to their destination and get my butt to work. Go sell, sell, sell, and work as hard at my job as I am at myself. Then come home and be mom. Except the mom thing needs to get healthier too. So the kids and I will work together to think of some healthy activities we can do together before dinner. Then eat something mostly healthy for dinner, enjoy and hour of winding down and go to bed.....before midnight. Somewhere in there, I will work in school work and whatever else comes up. But that's it. Not hard, not exactly easy, but absolutely necessary. Not optional. I have to do this.

And my goal? To wear that awesome $11 dress out on a date with my hubby by the end of summer. And totally rock it!!! I promise, after pictures will follow.

So there it is. It's been too long. But I'm back on, and let's hope it sticks this time.

So excited for 2012!

Year after year after year, I set mostly attainable goals and fail miserably. I think this year I failed the most miserably of all. But I'm okay with that. 2011 was truly an amazing year. We got out of debt, took on a small amount back, met some other financial goals, both got new jobs, travelled to many places both solo and as a family, been busier than ever, gone through big transitions at church...... I can go on and on and on. But I do not have a single complaint. I'm still alive and kicking, even if I am a few pounds over where I started this time last year. Hey, I'm not perfect.

But I do understand that it's no small deal that I didn't hit the weight loss goals. I simply didn't try hard enough. I let life get in the way, as usual. I discovered a lot about myself in the process though. First and foremost, I cannot do this alone. I don't have enough willpower or self control to go solo in the get healthy game. And I'm thankful that I have a husband and a doctor who are with me on this one!

With that said, here is the new plan for 2012. 1) I registered for my first 1/2 marathon which I will participate in some capacity on July 22 in Chicago. I told about 40 of my colleagues about it, anybody the reads my junk on Facebook and anybody that reads this blog, and I'll tell whoever will listen! I want everyone to know so it's a constant reminder of why I'm GOING to do this! 2) I talked to my doctor about the Lap band today. My insurance requires that I am under a doctor supervised weight loss plan for 6 consecutive months before I will be eligible. So, I will visit his office once a month for a weigh in and every other month for an office visit. If whatever I am doing is not working by July, then in the fall I will have the procedure. But wouldn't it be awesome if by the end of these 6 months I no longer quality???? mmhmm. 3) Kenny agreed to join weight watchers with me! This is huge people, huge. Now he has a small investment in himself while helping me with my goals. Goodbye chocolate cake nights! He has also put on quite a bit of weight in the past few years and is starting to feel it. So weekly, we will attend a meeting as a family so we can all learn about the huge advantages of taking on a healthier lifestyle. Of course the kids don't need to lose weight, but they do need to learn healthy habits and I can't think of a better way to teach them. So, with the motivation (and huge expense) of this 1/2 Marathon, and the possibility of a major surgical procedure, and a major lifestyle change for the whole family, I'd say 2012 is going to be totally awesome!

Well that's all for now. I'm so very thankful for the many blessings we experienced in 2011, and am very excited to welcome 2012. Happy New Year everyone!

~Lori~

39 weeks

The first thing that comes to mind when I think of 39 weeks is the time it took to grow my babies. Both were born at or before 39 weeks. So much happens in that time, from conception to birth. Our bodies change, our hormones change, our lives completely change. So, it's not that hard to liken that experience to what I am currently going through......weight loss. It's hard, it's emotional, it's tiring, it's challenging at times, it's amazing at times and it's really a miracle if you can hit your goals!

One goal that I set for myself several years ago when I embarked on this endless challenge was participating in a half-marathon. I was supposed to do it two years ago, but a knee surgery (and lack of motivation following) killed that dream. But it's time I get (more) serious. Yesterday, on one of the coolest days of the year 11-11-11 (one of my favorite #'s), I registered to participate in a 1/2 marathon in Chicago. It is exactly 39 weeks from tomorrow. A lot has to happen in the next 9 months for this to be possible, not unlike childbearing. I have to change the way I eat, I have to change the way I exercise, I have to make a commitment to myself, and I have to be realistic in my changes. Unlike childbirth, my results will not have an impact on the life of another, but rather on my own life. If I do this, I will be accomplishing a long-term goal. I may not lose 100 lbs in the way, but I'll in a heck of a lot better shape than I am now. I will be healthier, more energetic, more active and able to show my kids what it is like to finish something big.

My five year old daughter Caryn will be with me, and is also working towards her own goal, so she will be training with me in the beginning. While this is mostly for myself, it is an important step for my whole family. It's a pretty big investment; race registration, hotel, airfare etc. It's going to take a lot of work and commitment from everyone. I will have to make time to train, I will have to improve my habits, and I will have to have the faith in myself that I know many of you, and most importantly GOD has in me.

Tomorrow, I will post my covenant with myself. I will print it, sign it, share it with my family (and my blog followers) and post it in plain sight. I will not be making drastic changes like I have tried to do before, but rather realistic attainable, necessary changes that will improve the lifestyle and health of our whole family.

I am really nervous! I have a lot of work to do. But this is a season of transition. Both in church, in my career and now in my personal life. And with a lot of prayers, faith, strength and determination, I will make it happen and surprise myself! I don't know how often I will make it on here to post about it, but I plan to update occasionally. It's going to be a great season!

Oh My Gosh. I'm nuts.

Yup! I signed up to do an 8K race. I did this two years ago and did an awesome job preparing for it. Last year, I bailed last minute due to sick kids (and total lack of prep.) This time, I'm going to rock it. Starting next week, I'm going to get my but in gear. Next week because we are leaving Thursday night to go to Atlanta. Caryn and I will get our fair share of touristy exercise, but there will be no regime. But starting Monday, I will figure out how to fit it in. I've really slacked off for the past month or so, and it's time to kick it into high gear! Yeh! I'm scared, yet excited. I can't wait to post the results!

Two Goals:

Finish in an hour or less
NOT GET HURT!

Picture Perfect.

So here it is. Me. Yup. In ALL my glory. I couldn't have picked a more flattering outfit, huh? Actually, this isn't bad compared to a few years ago. But I'm not worrying about it. I know what it is and I have accepted it. Changes are on the horizon. I have a very expensive goal I have to meet in two short months. So, by Christmas, expect a much different image. Changes are on the horizon not only for my body, but in my heart and mind. Things are just kinda strange these days, and I'm not sure where the road leads, but I'm going to follow it with vigor, hope and faith. I'm excited and scared to experience the changes. But God will lead the way. I will close with a scripture I found last night that is oh so relevant to this season in my life:

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5

Two Months

As the first month of our challenge comes to an end, there were ups and downs, trials and tribulations, loss and gain. I don't have the final numbers because I don't have a scale and I don't go to curves anymore, but I think I did pretty well. In fact, I fit into a size smaller pants yesterday and they were not even tight. They may have been generous, but I'll take it! One thing that I have learned from the challenge is that while it might sound easy, it might not be so. Don't jump into it head first. Go slow and with moderation. Since I started off hot and heavy, I had to slow down and even stop to recoup! Ouch! Lesson learned.

This month, Kama and I have decided to change up the challenge a bit. I think we are doing 100 crunches a day or at least work towards that. I have also given myself a goal which I cannot reveal. But in two months I'm doing something that will require a very strick and reginmented routine to achieve. I'm going to stick to my calorie goal, not give in to temptation and work very hard to do what I can physcially without injury. I can't wait to see what two months of following this plan will produce (or reduce). I promise, I'll let you in on the secret by the end of the year, but for now it's just between me and my girls, and the person I'm paying, lol.

So, I will do my best to update this blog regularly, though it might not be everyday because I'll be busy doing everything else. Wish me luck, because it won't be easy. But I don't have a choice because now it's going to cost me money! I don't like to waste money ;)

Have a great Labor Day everyone!

I'll post a before picture later.

Wow that was quick!

I can't believe that it is already September. It seems like August went by too fast and it can't be true that summer is already over. I mean, it's still 100 degrees out! Come on already!

So herein lies the challenge. I failed miserably last month. I got hurt, then I got sick, then I got hot and tired and then I got sick again. I never lost site of my goals. I had to remember that I was human and not capable of doing to all at once. However, there are far to many excuses in this short paragraph.

To be honest, I really do not know what the solution is. Time management continues to be an issue. I tried really hard to create a menu of healthy stuff that we will actually eat. Thing is, it takes time to prepare these extravagant meals. Time is not something that is plentiful around here. Any given night we are called to a meeting or a school function or a dance class, or need something at the store for a project or are just plain pooped. So it's usually 7 by the time we eat, kids are in bed by 8 and then we are as close to a zombie as humans can be. I wish I knew the solution to the evening drag. Where can I get the burst of energy I need to be productive after 5?

Since that question likely to go unanswered, I have a couple of things I am going to try this month. I have to quit curves (again) because my work schedule changed so I can't make it on my lunch break anymore. I'm really going to miss that! The upside though, is I have an extra 45 minutes everyday to do school work. So far this week it has worked out well. Hopefully it will free up book time on the weekends. But to replace curves, I'm going use my bike and computer more. There are lots of great free exercises available online. I want to dedicate at least thirty minutes a day to some sort of physical activity. I also want to include the kids in this plan, but that might mean introducing weekend hikes or something, because it just isn't going to happen during the week. And I'm going on a soda and cake fast. No cake, and no cokes. This means not at fast food or restaurants either. I'm also giving up fast food at lunch. I will bring my lunch everyday, and if I forget, I'm just going to be hungry until I get home. I think those are three things that will help me achieve my goals. Next month, I'll see what else I need to tweak.

I know these changes don't seem like much. They are pretty big to me though. Soda is my outlet. I use it as my "caffeine" Kenny and I love to enjoy cake when the kids go to bed a few times a week. Not as much since we started eating dinner later, but still, it is not a good habit at all. And fast food at lunch is just ridiculous. There is no reason why I can't make my lunch while I'm make Caryn's. What I need to do is stop rationalizing my actions and also to allow for flexibility. I know that the game changes sometimes and you have to adapt. But it doesn't have to be so hard and the derailing doesn't have to be permanent.

Weight loss, life changes, routine altering...these are all very difficult things to accomplish. I wish there was an easy button. But, I am determined to figure it out before I retire! lol. Well, hopefully before then.

Have a great month everyone!