$11

Well, it's been awhile since I have posted. What could the reason for that be? Probably.....that I stopped trying. I was doing so well for awhile, training for my half marathon. 4 weeks into it, I got hurt. Enter doctor appointments, disappointing news, torturous MRI's, inconclusive and very unhelpful diagnosis's and probably a little bit of depression. Results, I have a bad knee, a bad hip, I need to lose weight to fix it, but in order to that I need to exercise, and my options for that are limited. So what better thing to do than get addicted to reading, watching Son's of Anarchy and wearing out the seat in my recliner. Slacking off at work, slacking off at home, slacking off at life in general. Makes sense right? Right. And now that I'm over that, I'm pissed off. This weekend I spent some time with a couple of my gorgeous friends and a whole slew of kids. Upon an exciting trip through a splash pad, fully clothed...I changed into a sun dress I had until yesterday, not been brave enough to wear into public. It looks okay, I suppose and I love RED! I feel empowered in that color, but anyway, I wore it. Home from the park and then out to dinner. Fully aware of how revealing it was. Not in the sensual or inappropriate way, but it the show all you've got....literally way. I have so many layers underneath that dress it is unnerving. And until recently, I wasn't aware of how I appeared to others. Some women complemented my dress, which sometimes I felt it was so that they could think in their heads what they really thought, most men looked away, and I felt completely discussed at my appearance. And how I feel, because you know, it's not all about looks. It is entirely possible the assumptions I made in my head about what the other were saying in their heads were false. They probably didn't even notice me. The issue at hand are the thoughts that are in my head. How in the hell did I let myself go this far? Really? Seriously? My motivation and enthusiasm motivates and gets other people excited. Aren't I the hypocrite. It's pathetic. But maybe this is exactly what I needed to get my shit together. I needed to get mad. Angry. Discussed. Annoyed. Pissed. All of the above. And I am. Laying it all out there.

Enter $11. At WalMart in Evans, Ga last night I found this adorable little dress. I've been longing for a dress like this for months. A dark blue, white polk a dot dress that would look fabulous with pearls and a pair of red or nude heels. Totally a date night or Sunday morning ensemble. Really. I, Lori Hays am contemplating something fashionable. Scary, I know. So I bought it.

Then I tried it on. Ouch. I'm pretty sure this is the biggest I have ever been.

Now my feelings about this are mixed between pissed off and motivated. They always say when trying to loose weight it's good to have a goal or a little incentive to work towards. Here we go! The dress. So, I've created myself a little home gym, with my bike, a ball, a mat, some elastic bands and hand weights. It's pretty much all I can do right now, since my doctor put the squash on everything else. And I know that this is going to be a long, tedious process. But, it has to happen. I am not going to work backwards anymore. My life depends on it. Physically, mentally, emotionally....you get it. Time to get back on the bandwagon. I have to improve my diet. I have to exercise. And unlike before, it's going to be harder than ever. Because my options are limited. All I have is my self motivation and my ego. God I hope it works this time.

Here is the plan. Set my IPhone alarm for 5:00 AM every morning. Get up, take my medicine, drink a glass of water, bike for 30 minutes and do a circuit of strength training. Then eat breakfast, get the kids ready to rock and roll deliver them to their destination and get my butt to work. Go sell, sell, sell, and work as hard at my job as I am at myself. Then come home and be mom. Except the mom thing needs to get healthier too. So the kids and I will work together to think of some healthy activities we can do together before dinner. Then eat something mostly healthy for dinner, enjoy and hour of winding down and go to bed.....before midnight. Somewhere in there, I will work in school work and whatever else comes up. But that's it. Not hard, not exactly easy, but absolutely necessary. Not optional. I have to do this.

And my goal? To wear that awesome $11 dress out on a date with my hubby by the end of summer. And totally rock it!!! I promise, after pictures will follow.

So there it is. It's been too long. But I'm back on, and let's hope it sticks this time.