I know it's a little premature, since there are still two more weeks left in this month, but when God speaks, it's not on my terms. So with that, I've received three answers to prayers this week:
1) I'm not going to have surgery.
2) I can't do this alone.
3) I will succeed, but I must be faithful, committed and believe in myself.
With these answers, I have found some direction. I'm relieved that I can take surgery off of the table. I didn't really want to do it. To me, it was a way out. And if can't do it on my own, I probably won't do it after surgery either. I can't do this on my own. I just can't. I'm not strong willed enough. I'm competitive by nature, and alone, I have no competition. I am not disciplined enough. I don't have strong enough willpower. These are all things that I can change, but they won't happen overnight, so to do this, I must seek guidance. And not just from the Lord, but from those whom he has blessed with the gifts to help people like me. So, I'm going back to Weight Watchers. I've been successful there before, but never stuck with it. It's easy for me, because I have a room full of people who are going through the same struggles as I am, and it doesn't matter if they have one or 100 pounds to lose. They will hold me accountable, because I have to weigh-in every week. They cheer for you when you lose :) I blush like a fool, and claim to hate recognition, but it really does make me want to keep going! And I want to be a success story. I would love to be the one leading a weight watchers meeting. This is not a new thing for me. I can remember the very first weight watchers meeting I ever went to when I was in my early 20's, in Illinois. That woman stood up there with that picture of herself (my size) and said if I can do it you can. Ever since that, I have wanted that job. I think it is part of my calling to help women and children. I would love to be a motivational speaker, showing the ordinary person she can do extraordinary things like lose the weight of her two kids or more! And I know I can do it. I will do it. I will succeed, I will be patient, and I will be committed, and I will be successful. I'm not going to put a start or finish goal on this journey. I hope it's sooner than later. But it's not on my time. It will happen and I will continue to listen for the directions of God, and follow this path he has paved for me. And I'm at peace with that.
Oh, bless you, Lori! I was just out on a 2 hour bike ride with Jared. Sweating in the hot sun, I watched him wince every once in a while, knowing it was grueling for him. My heart bled, but I kept encouraging him the whole way. We will swim tonight at Deon's and he's had only a bowl of cereal to eat today. Why am I allowing this? He's one pound over the weight limit for his football game tomorrow, and I can't bear to see him sit on the sidelines. He's made weight every game of his three year career and I'm not letting him start sitting the bench now. I know that if I instilled healthy habits early, I would not have to allow his forced suffering. We are all obese in my family, and although physically active, sometimes, that just isn't enough. I praise you for what you are doing and I pray that I, too, will attain the self-discipline to maintain healthy habits for both my children and myself. Not only for looks and sports, but for our health as well. As you develop consistent healthy eating habits, Lori, your children will naturally follow suit. Please don't do what I did when they were little. I'd fix something lean for myself, and then rationalize, they're not chubby at all, they can eat whatever they'd like. Sadly, ten years of that and now we are in the situation we are. I promise not to go back to that mentality. I pray you never have to worry about reversing habits with Caryn & CJ. I love you so much, and I can not only see your commitment, but I can sense it and feel it in my soul. God will bless you richly for your faith in Him, and for your perseverence. I will follow your journey, and hopefully have encouragement for you. You are an inspiration, my friend, I love you & I love you!
ReplyDeleteJenny Cross
Thanks Jenny, I love you too! I understand what you are talking about. Sadly, it's the opposite for us sometimes, lol. On Pizza night, the kids have healthy food and mom and dad are eating junk. What you are describing is exactly what I am trying to avoid with my kids. I am proud to say that they will choose fruit over candy and cookies everyday. I do let them have treats sometimes, but they prefer better food. And I have stopped letting them have different meals than us. They must try everything mommy and daddy are eating. Much to my surprise, they like it! Dinner just got easier and healthier at the same time! It is a struggle, and I can see how parents fall into that easy trap, all too often. After I have accomplished my goals, and hopefully on the way, I can inspire parents and children alike to eat healthier and reak the benefits of it. I need all of the encouragement and accountibility I can get! Thank you for being my friend and my sister in Christ!
ReplyDelete