Phew. That's about all I can say about last week. It was challenging for many reasons. One, my husband went on 2nd shift. Two, my kids were in rare form, largely because of the shift change. And three, I was flat out tired. Tired = Hungry in Loriland. My biggest challenge was tackling the hunger in the time between when I get home, and when dinner is done. I'm afraid I didn't rise above the challenges all of the time. I fell victim to bread and butter, Doritos and whatever else was in sight. But, I'm proud to say when I did regress, I did in moderation. It may have impacted my total weight loss potential, but I still lost. So, I'm still in control. My weaknesses did not win.
I did cheat on one of my Lenten fasts though. I didn't have time to eat breakfast on Friday before therapy, and I took a pain pill, so in order to make it to work alive, I had to eat. I had an egg Mc Muffin from McDonalds, a hash brown and an orange juice. I didn't order a coke, or anything sweet, so I'm glad that I stuck to that plan. I asked for forgiveness, and moved on. I prayed extra hard that day! I know, and Jesus knows that I'm not perfect. If I was, if we were, he wouldn't have had to make the ultimate sacrifice. So, I find peace in that, and that I can make mistakes, and be forgiven.
Speaking of forgiveness, I have a story to share about my 4 year old daughter this week. She had an especially rough day and night on Wednesday. Who knew being 4 could be so hard! At the end of the night, following a major meltdown, I layed down on her bed and cuddled her. She started sobbing. So I told her, I'm sorry you're having a rough night. But just because your tired, doesn't mean you get to be disrespectful to your family. I asked her if she thought Jesus was disrespectful to his disciples when they were tired, in which she promptly (in between sobs) said no. I told her I know it is hard to always be nice, and we will never be perfect like Jesus, but we have to try very hard. She thought for a minute, took a need breathe and said "Mommy, I want to be just like you when I grow up, and mom-mom (my mom) too". That made me feel like I was on top of the world. And glad that she wants to be like me after a heart to heart like that, rather than when I'm yelling at her brother, or something. Our conversation continued about how we have to forgive people when they hurt our feelings, and be nice, etc. But that was a great mommy moment for me. She went to bed peacefully, and woke up an angel.
Alright, back to the original programming.
My exercise went well, I think. I'd still like to do more, but I have to be careful not to hurt myself again. I cannot afford to be hurt again, and I have to much riding on my health, to overdo it for my self pride. I worked out at the gym for 40 minutes on Sunday, Tuesday and Saturday. I will try to go on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday this week. My schedule with physical therapy is making that difficult, cause in order to go during the week and NOT pay a sitter, I have to be there at 4:30 AM!!! Yikes! But, where there is will there is a way. I can do it, if I go to bed by 9:00. That is where I failed last week.
Some other things I have been working on are maintaining a clean house and car. Trying to do the dishes after dinner every night. Trying to stick to somewhat of a routine with the kids in the evening. And sticking to a menu. I've done pretty well. It's really hard to break old habits. And it is WAY to easy to just give up on goals. I figure if I can't change the giving up part in every aspect of my life, then I will probably fail miserably. I need to be more consistent, have more confidence and more strength in myself to accomplish my goals. And I need to NOT set the bar so high. The changes I am striving for are not huge. They are simple things that will clear the clutter in my life, physically, mentally and emotionally.
During Lent this year, our church is sorta doing just that. We are breathing out the bad and breathing in the good. This has helped me clear the way for the future. Realize what is important, and let go of what is not. And it has helped me open more doors for God to take control in my life. I look forward to seeing the possibilities. With God's help, I will be Fabulous At Thirty.
Many blessings!
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