Time to make some changes

Yes, it has been a few weeks since I have posted. That is because I lost sight of my mission. So, this week, it is time to make some changes, instead of excuses.

In many of my conversations as of late, I hear myself saying why I can't do this, or how I can't do that. I, Lori Hays, have been making excuses. If that were a job, I'd be great at it! I find myself doing this at work, at home, with my husband, with my kids, with my mom, with my finances, with my various things I want to do. "I meant to do that, but..." "I tried to get that done, but" Ugh, just thinking about it frustrates me.

So, this week, I'm not going to focus so hard on how many pounds I lose, but instead, how many excuses I lose. Time management is a big issue for me. Mostly because I inherited a lazy gene from somewhere. Others are because I simply don't know how to manage my time. I have great ideas to help others do this, but I can't seem to figure out the magic equation for me. I don't know that there really is a magic equation, really. I think I just need to let go an let God. And that brings me to my first priority this week; God. The first thing I will do when I wake, is pray. Then I will do it throughout the day, and I will close my evening in prayer. Because, I talk about God a lot, and what he means to me, and how he is working in my life, and how I want him to be a big part of my kids life, and God this and God that, but I don't talk TO God. How silly is that. At least he knows I'm thinking about him. But I think he probably cares less about that. I mean, come on, how can he move me, work through me and in me, and help me, and lead me, if I don't talk to him. And most importantly, listen to him. Shame on me. So, my dear Lord... You are my #1 this week. I concede. I need you, and surrender. Lead me.

My second priority this week, is to not have a second priority. I need to get the first one under control first. But, I do plan to seek guidance with the changes I hope to make. Like, the clutter in my life. We gave up TV, yet I find myself filling the precious time in between when the kids go to bed, and when I go to bed, with this silly laptop on my lap, watching the shows I've become addicted to online. Um, duh! lol. So, this week, I will not watch any television, even online. Nada.

Next is this computer. It seems to be cluttering my life too. When I get home, I turn that stupid TV on and prop my kids in front of it so I can have some "quiet" time before getting on with my mommy duties. Then, I find myself yelling at those precious two, for getting into mischief when I'm in front of this thing. Again, Duh! I sit in front of a computer for 8 hours a day. Why, oh why, must it be the first thing I do when I get home. No more. Unless the computer is included in something I'm going to be doing with the kids, which is highly unlikely, I will not visit it until my designated computer time. Because, yes, I need a few moments to myself when I get home. But those could easily be spent during "quiet time" with a book, in the same room as the kids. And if I do need to escape them for a moment to gather myself, I can do the dishes, or read the newspaper, or wash my hair. I don't know. My time with my kids is limited as it is, with my work schedule and various other things, so I really need to soak up my quiet time when they are quietly sleeping in bed. My two year old has been having behavior problems at school. I'm quick to make excuses for this. But, could it possibly be partly my fault? I don't really know. And If I start blaming myself, things will just get worse. But I can do everything in my power to do my absolute best with my kids when I have them. And maybe things will get better.

Finally, I'm going to try to adhere to a schedule. It won't be super structured. But I am going to use it as a guideline. Something to try to keep me on track. Charts work for toddlers and preschoolers, why can't they work for me. Like I said, it's not going to be structured at all. But eventually, I will be able to add things to categories. And this will also help me put my life into perspective. I need to know what time I have and don't have, and how to use it wisely. My current state is chaos. I have no structure. I go with the flow, and I procrastinate like crazy. Life like that is no life at all. I want to be peaceful, not crazy. Or maybe just peacefully less crazy. I dunno. But here is my shot at it.

What will a day in the life of Lori look like for this week (and hopefully more to come)?

4:00 AM wake up and pray.
4:30 AM Do something to make my day great, like exercise!
5:00 AM Wake up my precious children.
5:30 AM Get them dressed and out the door
6:00-5:00 PM- Go to work, pray, work, pray, come home from work, pray
5:00 PM Enjoy 3o minutes of wind down time with the family
5:30 PM Prepare dinner
6:00 PM Eat dinner with the family, whomever it consists of that day
6:30 PM Have fun with the family
7:30 PM Read and pray with the kids, and put them down for the night.
8:00 PM Read, do church, business stuff or whatever, pray.
9:00 PM Sleep

The goals of this week are to get closer to God, get closer to myself, get closer to my family, and to get rid of the excuses that clutter my life. Because with their presence, there will be no success. If I don't start realizing some of these changes now, life will be taking a downward spiral. I know that is not what God has planned for me. He's worked hard to mold me into who I am today. It is shameful to ignore that, and starting now (or again) I will listen.

Maintained this week

Well, I did pretty good last week, up until Thursday. Then I got busy, got lazy, and got careless. I sometimes wish I didn't have to watch what I eat, and didn't have to work so hard at being active. I wish I was one of those people who could just lace up my shoes and go for a jog. I wish I had unlimited amounts of free time to use as I choose. But, I don't. And I need to be at peace with that, and make good use of the time I do have, to maximize my results. I also need to remind myself that my choices effect my entire life. Yes, that chocolate cake is good. Yes, those chips and dip full fill a craving. But, by giving into those weaknesses, I am hindering my progress, and going backwards with my health. That means I am letting myself down, my family down and God down. Not cool. I don't have very high expectations of myself, and perhaps that is the problem. Maybe I need to hold myself to a higher standard. I need to take a step back and look at what my actions do, and how they effect things. Take that chocolate cake, and those potato chips. I ate them. They were yummy. I worked so hard durning Lent to give up those things. Sacrifices I made for Jesus, because of the sacrifice he made for me. But as soon as lent was over, I went back to my old ways. That kinda seems disgraceful. So, I guess what I need to do, is remember why it was so easy to give it up the first place, and why I did it, and continue the trend. Why fall back on old ways? Was I without for the weeks I made those sacrifices? Nope. But I did feel better, healthier, more energetic, and motivated, and closer to God. I know what I need to do, now I have to do it!

As a family, we decided to give up Dish TV. This is huge for us, because we are a tad bit addicted to television. We now will have time to go outside and play, play games, do activities, read, and be a family. We will still watch movies, and have some shows saved on the DVR for the kids, cause lets face it, there are times mommy needs free hands. But, for the most part, our evenings will not be spent in front of the TV with a big bowl of ice cream. Now we will go for walks, get lost in books, and go on adventures outside. I think this will be a healthy adjustment for all of us.

Alright, I think I've vented enough. I am going to try very hard to get back on track, and ulitmately stay there, from this point forward. My hair really needs cut, and I still need to lose 5 lbs before I get there. Not to mention all of the other goals I have. Like my 5K, my new jeans, a size 20 little black dress. But, I will do it. I will succeed. Because if I don't I will resort to doing something I really don't want to do. So failure is not an option. Besides, I want to rock Fabulous At Thirty.